We would be lying if we said friendship wasn’t integral in the human experience. Befriending new people can be exciting, yet we’re hearing it’s pretty challenging as well. Today on The Glow Guide, we’re talking the potential problem points with finding new friends as you venture into adulthood and how to navigate them. Keep reading along to learn new ways to become open to a new community/tribe.
*picture sourced from unsplash.com (courtesy of Bruce Mars)*
It’s been nearly a decade since Drake told us “no new friends.” That might have been the motto in 2013, but we’d rather do things a little differently in this day and age. There’s actually a lot of beauty that can come from new friendships, and you never know where life can take you when you’re open to them. Growing older, we begin to lose and gain many things – relationships being one of them. Now, we’ve seen quite a few Twitter and TikTok threads to notice that it’s becoming a common hardship for a number of older Gen Z and millennials to find new friends. Our question to this is: why? From moving cities to finishing up with undergrad and grad school, the convenience that came with our old groups of friends are now no longer. Change is a constant in life, and, if anything, you always know it’s coming sooner or later. Because of this, we’re learning to embrace and adapt to when life begins to call for something (or someone!) new. The first step to broadening up your inner circle is becoming open to welcoming new relationships in your life. After that, we’re here to help you handle the rest.
Don’t Deflect – We Need Community
We often see in the media a glamorization of being cold or heartless, but our girls know by now that’s not how Ornami rolls. We’ve said it before, and we’ll remind you once again: A group of solid friends is absolutely necessary! We have another post on The Glow Guide where we go into a little detail about how we’re passionate about platonic love. Your friend group should feel like a safe haven and be the extra support you need while managing all that comes with adulting. When you’re feeling lonely, your homegirls are there ready to pour up a glass of Prosecco and give you that shoulder to cry on. Belonging and community is a basic human desire. UCLA neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman actually concluded that the need to connect socially is about as basic of a human need as water, food, and shelter. It’s true: Linking up with your girls is always actually a requirement for good health, and who are we to argue science?
As society progresses, especially during this age of pandemics and multiple-strain viruses, how Americans are cherishing and embracing community is shifting. On top of the already innovative technology that’s quickly filled our homes, the past few years of social distancing has urged individuals to become more isolated than ever. Much can be said about the theory of community dying and what’s causing its increase. Individualism is vastly growing, and we’re noticing that our generation doesn’t value community as much as our grandparents and great-grandparents. Being social through screens is great, but our elders can vouch that there’s nothing quite like having a village or group of people that’s filled with love and care amongst everyone.
Finding Your Tribe
Of course, finding a group of new individuals that actually align with you and your personality is easier said than done. Actively searching for new adult friends can cause many people to become anxious and start to overthink the myriad of things that could go wrong. Especially for those who may be a bit more introverted, we can understand how being surrounded by new energies can become overwhelming. Your social battery begins to run out and your bedroom starts calling you. So, what do you do? Our advice to you is to just become intentional about the type of people you are seeking. Whether you’re searching for casual associates or a new bestie, being authentically you will lead you to the individuals that you were meant to be around. It all starts with putting yourself out there. After all, a new clique isn’t just going to appear in your living room ready to re-binge episodes of Insecure!
When you’re ready to step out and find new faces to share your personality with, you know your Ornami BFF has your back. Here’s a list of a few place you can meet new friends or groups as an adult that’s ready for some change:
Expand Your Circle Through Your Partner
- Building relationships with people you may have met through your significant other can be simple and convenient. The beauty of this method is you and these new found friends already have something in common: your partner! It’s always great in long term relationships being able to bring together and enjoy the company of your other loved ones. Don’t be afraid to join in on night outs, double dates, or however you all spend your free time.
Take Initiative on Social Media
- We’re sure we’ve all had instances on the ‘gram where you begin exchanging compliments with a follower and this leads to some pretty sweet conversations. These conversations then turn to “we should definitely hang out!” But, how often are you actually linking with these mutuals? Social media was created for just that: to be social! Shoot your friendship shot through DMs and actually mean it this time around.
Find a New Hobby
- Typically, friendships begin through shared interest. Whether you already have a hobby you love or are looking for a new one, finding these communities in your city could lead to meeting some pretty dope people. For example, let’s say you’ve been interested in yoga. Search for some hot yoga sessions in your area, and have fun with the other attendees!
Get to Know Your Coworkers
- We’re often hearing the saying, “don’t mix business with pleasure” or “keep your work life and personal life separate”. That’s all fine and dandy, but you never know what individuals in your workplace that you might really enjoy the company of. As a working adult, you’re spending a lot of your time at work and with your coworkers. Take your work buddy up on their offer to grab a drink off the clock and see where things may go!
Hit Events Solo
- Peak adulting is being comfortable with doing things by yourself. Going out to eat or catching a movie solo is one thing, but are you going to bars or other events on your own? These kinds of outings can be the perfect opportunity for you muster up the courage to spark conversations with strangers. You can enjoy time by yourself and find someone new for future outings!
The Major Key: Self-Love
Enjoying the company of others is great and definitely needed, but you should always be making time for yourself as well. The power of self-love can manifest in all of your relationships, and you can’t be comfortable with others if you’re not comfortable with yourself. When embarking on the self-love journey, it’s crucial to stop seeking external validation. This can only be done when you continuously remind yourself how fire you truly are! We’ve mentioned journaling before, and we won’t stop reiterating the power of putting your words on a page. Take time out to sit with your thoughts and your pen and go to town!
Like many things in adulthood, friendships take work to maintain. Our friends and platonic relationships are like plants and need time to be nurtured to be able to withstand the test of time. We’re becoming wiser, which means we’re starting to outgrow many things. If you’ve been evaluating your current friendships and feel as though they no longer serve or are just ready for something new, it’s never too late to find a fresh face to call bestie, homie, twin, or 4lifer.